Lack of Desire for Women and sex
Exploring this more through what women need and want in order to feel desire for sex with their partner.
Re: sexless relationships, Esther Perel says, "We naturaly want more of what we like."
Make sense right? Of course we want more of what we like. As regards to sexless relationships, it is at least worth reflecting on this and ask -
“What if the sex felt worth having?” (again, in Esther Perel’s words).
In a world that has no proper education for men and women how to create fulfilling intimacy together, it’s no wonder to me why so many long term relationships struggle with desire issues. Once the excitement at the beginning of the connection wares off, the couple is faced with navigating the nuts and bolts of life, and the combo of not knowing how to sustain sexual desire along with being bogged down with disappointments regarding logistics (leading to imbalances of power and people {mainly women} feeling under appreciated and devalued), it’s a sure recipe for (mainly women) to lose interest in sex.
Other factors surely play into it as well. If a woman doesn’t feel she gets the kind of attention and affections she needs to be fulfilled, she will be less inclined to want to give herself to her man sexually. Many women also are so overwhelmed with trying to live their best life and provide for their families, that they don’t have the easy ability to shift from that mental masculine/active/yang role into her juicy feminine/receptive/yin role.
With men’s biology and psychology regarding how they experience sex and desire being very different from women, they aren’t typically clued into how to give her what she needs to let go and give him her affections. This would include how to create a bridge for her, of transition into “get it done mode” to “sexy time.” Most women don’t know that they need this bridge of transition in order to feel “in the mood.”
Media and entertainment about sex generally leans towards a man’s bio/psycho sex- system, which includes how his fantasies work - the woman is ready to go at a glance, they bypass foreplay and go straight to penetration, the woman moaning in orgasmic pleasure within 30 seconds. I don’t see anything wrong with sexual content made for entertainment purposes, however I also feel that men are at a huge disadvantage with such a lack of applicable guidance to real life sexual experiences with women.
This is where my work comes in.
I help educate couples more about how to build a sustainable lifestyle of intimacy into their relationship. This includes creating daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly rituals/experiences of connection, along with helping them both learn more about how their system works, how the others works, and how to navigate the ever changing fluctuations that most women have in terms of desire. I also guide couples into the range of intimacy to be enjoyed, and how to touch each other sexually using Neo-Tantric principles.
If this is something you feel you could benefit to learn more from, you’re welcome to join me on a free call to explore if my work can be supportive to your journey of love at this time. Online coaching, in person sessions, and private retreats available.
Thank you for letting me inspire this beautiful and powerful part of life for you and your beloved!
Kelley Mountain
